Some friends and I attended a seminar yesterday titled "Passion for Jesus". To be totally honest with you, I didn't have much expectation for anything deep...not out of pride but out of resignation. I've somehow drifted to a place where it's easier to encourage others in their walk than it is to keep myself encouraged.
But....
Behold, God is great and we do not know Him. (Job 36:26)
Oh - how I long to know Him - really know Him. Not the superficial stuff that we experience with people we don't know well - but the deep sharing - loving, giving, receiving that we have with those whom we know love us....that we trust.
A W Tozer says in his book "The Knowledge of the Holy"
"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us."
So this morning I find myself thinking about God and noting what comes into my mind. So far my list is:
-distant
-distracted
-only notice me when I beg for His attention (such as in prevailing prayer or violent intercession)
So, I am starting on a journey today. Not a new journey per se' but taking up where I left off after many false starts...on redefining in my mind who God is and how He feels about me...I know that He loves you, that He reaches down to you to encourage you, that He is totally aware of your weakness and need for comfort - but that somehow I'm not as visible or worthy as you.
I think a lot of us suffer from low God esteem...if you are one of those, then I invite you to come along on this journey with me and any others that may join us.
I'm going to spend time this week focusing on this verse. Jeremiah 31:3
"the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you."
I'm going to write it on an index card and keep it with me - on my dash in the car while I'm driving and on my desk at work while working -
If you are reading this - I encourage you to do the same thing...reflect on God's goodness, reflect on His great love for you, and try to put aside our misconceptions of Him...at least for this week.
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3 comments:
This is so true - and real.Thanks you.
I'm not sure exactly how I ended up finding this before you told me about it, but however it was, i wasn't sure it was you at first. I think your struggle to know Him as He truly desires to be known is so raw and so real, and exactly what He desires from you. For me, the struggle is to know Him and desire Him simply for who He is, and not for how He makes me feel or for how He provides for me or if I sense His manifest presence or not; just simply knowing Him and loving Him and desiring to know Him and love Him more because He is my God and He not only has invited me to know Him by giving me access to Him through His son, but His whole purpose for my life is to know Him. Some days its easier than others. And so I hold on to the admonition and the promise in Hebrews 11:6 "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him."
One more thought - I believe what God desires of us is to long for Him and to trust Him always - especially when we feel He is distant, distracted, and notices everyone else more than us. Habakkuk 3:17 (I know you know this one!)and forwards says this:
"Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s;
he makes me tread on my high places"
It is when we seek and trust God's faithfulness even in the midst of storms, lonliness, isolation, etc. that we are truly able to leap in the high places. He must bring us through these times for us to learn to trust Him in the midst of them. I don't think Abraham would have stood the test of being asked to sacrifice Isaac back in the days when he was passing off his wife as his sister, and I believe that God asking Abraham to sacrifice was as much for God to show Abraham how much he really had learned to trust his God as much as it was a test of his faith. So, embrace your struggle - God IS at work!!!
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